Tips and tits / meat and streak

Slept really well surprisingly.
First stop was a market by the river. It was situated under a road bridge and had loads of handmade local stuff.
Zack bought an elephant ear, a massive slab of fried dough caked in sugar. It was pretty good!

We then took the bus out to Jam bar where we had massive breakfasts. I had corned beef, scrambled egg and bacon in a sandwich served with half a plate of hash brown. I did a very good job and almost finished it.

Feeling extremely full, we walked down the street and stopped off in a few vintage tat shops. There were some interesting finds.

The mall was the next stop and whilst Leslie and Erica went shopping, Zack and I went in the toy shop. They had all sorts of really crap games. Quite literally. One was a game where you have to feed a plastic dog until he poos and then clear up the mess! I guess it’s educational.

After returning home, Leslie now sporting some seriously bright pink shoes, we watched Ace Ventura and lounged about. I was starting to get tired.

Next port o’ call was the Shanghai Tunnels at the Hobos bar. These were built as part of the white slave trade. They took us down through a metal hatch in the street and showed us around. We heard all sorts of stories about how Chinese people in particular, but mainly drunks, we’re kidnapped from bars and off the streets before being locked up in the tunnels. The prisoners would have their shoes removed and broken glass was spread around to stop them escaping. Once they were down here, they’d be drugged and sold to ship captains.

We picked up a zip car and took it to Acropolis Strip club. In most places I’m pretty sure people go to strip clubs to see naked women, but in Portland the priority seems to be to get steak! Their menu was so cheap. We mostly all got steak, baked potato and garlic bread for $6. The beer was only $4.50, but my pint was off. It was such a dive. If you’ve ever played Grand Theft Auto then you’ll be able to imagine exactly how this place looked.
We sat around drinking and chatting, then just before we left, Erica decided she wanted some breasts in her face and went and tipped a dancer. It was hilarious.

We had to get the zip car back, so after a largely unsuccessful photo outside, we took it back downtown.

Next stop was Jones bar. It was 90s night and as usual I didn’t recognise half the songs. Probably because I listened to shitty kiss105 around that time, but also, I was into Status Quo.

We were there a few hours before being escorted by Zack to a Mexican street meat vender. We all got burritos and tacos which were really good and then took a taxi home.

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Posted on Saturday, 7 July, 2012, in holiday in USA. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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