Church

I finished the blog, but I felt I had to post about this experience.

On Sunday, I somehow agreed to going to church with my landlord. I got in the car and we drove out to Scarboro.
It was a modern building and as we arrived the service had already started. We walked down a corridor and the distance I could hear a band playing.
We rounded the corner and were greeted by a large auditorium with a stage at one end, two big TV screens on the walls and various people with video cameras filming the service for the big screens.
The band were pretty good. I could get used to coming to church, it’s like going to a gig.

That, unfortunately was where the fun ended.
The pastor then starting rambling for a bit, before they brought out 5 people on stage dressed in white gowns. They were sinners and were about to get baptised.
The TV screens cut to a video of the first person. He told the congregation about how he had been lost, he didn’t know where his life was headed… but then he found Jesus blah blah blah.
pretty standard stuff, but this was when I realised that in fact the stage wasn’t just for the band, it also had a batising tank sunken into it!! The bloke walked down the steps into the water where he was greeted by two other people in gowns. They blessed him and then attempted to drown him. The band then started playing presumably to mask his cries for help.
He climbed out. Not dead and then the next victim had their video played. I was stunned. It was like nothing I had seen before. They had sound engineers, video mixers and everything.

the band then played a pretty boring song and the pastor started rambling again. He went on for over an hour. In this time he told us all that Jesus is the reason we have socks and fridges and that the whole reason cancer exists is because of Adam (of Adam and Eve fame) being a naughty boy.
What a load of bollocks.

But now it was time for communion. Yes, I thought, now it gets exciting. Bread and wine!!
Well I’ve been to church before so I expected the bread to be a crappy white tablet. It was smaller than I remember though, and square.
Then the wine came round. YUM YUM!!! The best bit of the service! It was a tiny serving in a small plastic beaker, but better than nothing.

The pastor said some prayers and then told everyone to hold their bread in the air.
I’d already eaten it…

He then said a toast and we drank the wine. Not only was it not wine, but it was very cheap fruit juice.
It was rank!!!!

What a waste of 2 hours!!

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Posted on Sunday, 7 October, 2012, in Living in Canada. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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